Bittersweet Goodbye

I don't like to say hello, because then you have to say goodbye.

Urban Seminar has officially ended. It was a wonderful 2 weeks, one I hope to never forget. I loved it! I was also blessed with a really great class. I didn't update yesterday, so here's a catch-up:

Yesterday was probably one of my most rewarding days. I taught a lesson on Adverbs and we played a game. After we did a graphic organizer to come up with adverbs to describe the verb "Walked", I had the kids take an index card and write an adverb on it. I put them all in a bag and then I had created sentence strips which I placed in a separate bag. Each kid had to take a sentence strip and an adverb and read that sentence according to the adverb. The rest of the class had to guess what adverb they were acting out. Because there were 28 kids in the class, it took up far too much time, but they loved it. The best part was that Ignacio, the boy that is most emotionally needy, a little slower than the rest, and is often pushed to the side and never participates, was up in the middle of it all, actively engaged, calling out answers, grinning from ear to ear. It was so cool to see him get into a lesson. Not only did he play the game, but as he was going to lunch he came up to me and said something along the lines of "Can I go to lunch?" and then said "Guess what adverb that was!" Haha.

I had a bit of an issue with Oscar, the Domincan boy, because he didn't understand the definition of an adverb or a verb. I learned to stop trusting Jaime's translations because more often than not, Jaime doesn't understand what's going on. Jeisson is a much more reliable translator and a good little teacher. I called him over to help me work on putting some adverbs into a paragraph that Oscar wrote. (They had to describe what they did yesterday and use as many adverbs as possible. Oscar wrote his in Spanish.) I threw in some adverbs and then had Jeisson translate the definitions of adverb and verb so I could write them at the top of his page. I'm not sure how much Oscar really appreciated suddenly being made to work in the regular classroom. Usually, he only has to work in ESOL and in the classroom, the teacher just lets him do his own thing because she doesn't understand anything he says. In conclusion, I would like to brush up on my Spanish -- maybe take some courses after college -- because not only is a bilingual teacher more marketable, but it would also help tremendously in a classroom in the urban setting. I know Oscar understands more than he lets on, which is why I used as much English as possible, but some of the key concepts had to be explained in Spanish.

Our last professional development seminar involved the Philadelphia School District Recruitment team. They said that December graduates have a much better chance of getting a job right after graduation and start in January to fill in empty spots where teachers leave halfway through the year. COOL! I'm going to look into interview dates. :) There are 280 schools in the district of Philadelphia. I forget the number of students, but there are a lot! Most of the classes are pretty big.

Today was my last day. It was quite sad. It started off with Ignacio stomping over to his line before going into school. He was huffing and puffing and giving a look that could slay an elephant. His anger was overflowing and I was afraid I'd have to restrain him. He told me that there were some older boys that were touching his sister. The boys were "no good" and he didn't want his sister hanging out with the wrong crowd and "they had no right to touch my sister like that." I'm not sure how much he exaggerated, but he was clearly mad. I think his sister might be one of the few people he has left to love in this world. I didn't know what to say. He told another teacher and I don't know what came of it. My co-op just said "Ignacio just had some drama this morning." Poor kid.

I didn't really teach today, but we went over a worksheet on adverbs. It amazes me how much backtracking I have to do! Some of them were still completely lost in how to do the worksheet. Most of them just plain old don't read the directions. (Sounds familiar.) I saw Ignacio was just reading a book while everyone was doing their work. I asked the teacher and she said "Oh get used to it. He just does his own thing." I walked up to him and looked over his shoulder. I forget what book he was reading, but there was a sentence with an adverb. I said "Hey Ignacio, find the adverb in this sentence." He picked it out. I said "Ok, great! How come you're not doing your work?" He said, "Oh, teachers just give too much work. It's so stressful." Hahaha. I said "Oh come on. Put your book down and get out your work book." He did it quite obligingly. I prodded him through the entire worksheet. I even left him on his own a couple times and came back and he had done it correctly. He was so proud of himself and went up to show the teacher. He came back and started reading his book again and all of a sudden called me over and said, "Can you give me another word to pick out?" :) He's really a sweet boy with a lot of needs. I can see how it's so easy to push him to the side because there are 27 other kids that need to be taken care of too. Ignacio is the type that needs a lot of one on one. I mentioned at lunch yesterday how he had gotten into the lesson and how I liked Ignacio. One of the teachers said, "Naz? He bad! He real bad! You only saw him for 2 weeks." Probably true, but he still needs a lot of loving.

I was sad to say goodbye to all those cute kids. Jalissa, Shaqueena, and Rahneesha attacked me with hugs. They were all sitting in their seats waving and saying "BYE, MISS BECKY! COME BACK SOON!" as I left. So cute. My co-op gave me a really nice "Teacher Bag" filled with pencils, sticky notes, a "Teacher Journal", bulletin board things, and other miscellaneous teacher things to start me off. So nice of her. :)

Well, it's over. I loved it. I wish I could stay longer. Maybe some day I'll find myself back in Philadelphia with a classroom full of children to love and teach. I can't wait!

But if I never said hello, I would have never met these beautiful children.

Recap of Memorial Day...

I forgot to talk about Monday! We went to the Philadelphia Museum of Art in the morning. I don't really like the art museum, but whatever. Thankfully we didn't have a worksheet. I spent most of my time in the medieval display because the knight stuff fascinates me. Then I found this little study center and read The Pied Piper of Hamlin and watched a video on how they erected a Flemish Crucifix in the museum.

After lunch, we went to the Constitution Center. That was pretty cool, but a bit of information overload. I could see myself bringing a class there because it had such great information. I would probably divide up the information so that different groups would concentrate on different aspects of American history and then we'd all share after we got back to our class. They had posters all throughout the displays with questions and sticky notes for people to write their opinions and post it on the boards. One question was "Should same-sex marriage be allowed?" The majority of the answers were "YES!" and primarily for 2 reasons: 1) It's a free country and 2) Do whatever makes you happy. Horrible! Some of us wrote huge NO!!!!!!!!! sticky notes. One person actually wrote "Yes. Jesus would have done the same if he weren't celibate." I was sickened and ripped the sticky note off and crumpled it. I don't care if the author saw me. There was no way that one was staying up for the public to see.

After the Constitution Center we went to the Rivera's for a cook-out. We had a lot of fun hanging out and sharing... and eating. I am glad our school is so small because we all knew each other before coming in to Urban Seminar. It really helps when you're already friends or at least acquaintances.

Learning to laugh at myself...

Today I taught 2 full blown lessons. I began with language arts. I taught the lesson I was supposed to teach yesterday. We read a narrative poem called "I Have Heard of a Land." It uses a lot of really creative imagery to paint mental pictures. I decided to focus in on the writer's craft. After introducing the vocabulary, I went through and asked them how the author used creative words to create mental pictures in their minds. For example, the author talked about "The earth is red with promises" and how she could have also just said "The soil was fertile." I wanted them to go through the poem on their own and pick out sentences and describe the mental picture the author was trying to create. I quickly found out that the majority of them weren't at that level. I had to meticulously go through the poem and work with the kids to get them to understand what the pictures were and how the author was creating visual images for them. It took much longer than expected. After that, I had them write their own poems (in some cases they turned into paragraphs) and I had to walk around and offer a lot of help and suggestions to get them started. In the end, we had quite a few successful stories as they slowly began to grasp how to use imagery. One of the boys talked about the violence and fights he sees every day on his street. (The prompt was to write about a place they had never been but dreamed of going to, or describe where they live now.) I thought that a near two-hour lesson would be impossible, but I have learned these kids need a lot more time than I expect when I initially write the lesson plan!

After lunch I taught a math lesson on rates. That one actually seemed to go fairly well. They were able to solve the problems and create their own. Some of them are clearly a lot farther behind which meant that when we went over them as a class, they just copied the answer. This is when my epic fail came about. I have a boy from the DR, Oscar, who likes to pretend he doesn't understand any English at all. I know he understands a lot more than he lets on. I also know he can do math. However, he was having a hard time understanding the word problems about rates because of the English. I tried my hand at some brilliant Spanglish. I decided to say "En un dia, tu comes tres mansanas. En tres dias, cuando mucho mansanas tu comes?" That was a horrible sentence, besides the fact that I said cuando instead of cuanto. When much apples you eat? Hahahaha! I made little errors throughout the day which my students happily pointed out, but it was ok. I learned to laugh at myself.

My co-op had another meeting today so the kids were outside playing for the last hour of school. I got bored, so I joined the four square game. "You playin', Miss Becky?" Shouts rang out and fourth graders from all over the schoolyard came running to watch "Miss Becky play!" Naturally I was pretty bad at it, but once I got into it, I started getting kids out. Hahaha. It was a lot of fun. They're all pretty cute, except a couple of them treat me more like a peer than a teacher. Jaime calls me "Nasty teacher" with a huge grin on his face. He's lazy and doesn't like being pushed to do his work. Kaseem just has an attitude. He's going to be an interesting teenager. Jalissa is a bit of a teacher's pet and Tymir likes to point that out to me. They're all so funny and they're still such kids. Go two grades up and it all changes.

One of the things that I'm learning is that it's so nice to have a class to gear lesson plans to. I know certain things that WILL NOT work if I directly followed the curriculum. Knowing my class, knowing the needs of my class, help me learn so much more about lesson planning than I'd ever learn in a methods class.

Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape

"We don't teach lessons. We teach children." -- Mrs. Rivera

Well today I learned to be ready to make up things on the fly. The class schedule was all over the place today. I was going to teach a language arts lesson, but due to some circumstances, it got pushed to tomorrow. My teacher was swamped with things she has to accomplish so I did a lot of little things all throughout the day. She called me over and handed me the math textbook and said "I know you don't like math, but can you make up a lesson on this right now?" So... I did. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be either. I think once you get to know the kids, know how they act, and know where they are based on the past few days, it gets easy to work on the fly. I kind of experienced that after a few English lessons at CLF last summer. But flexibility is a big thing. Sometimes you can't just stick to your lesson. If we're teaching CHILDREN, they come first... before our beautifully planned out lesson plans! My first math lesson on volume I had to only complete half and the next day I made up stuff as I went based on how they performed the previous day. I liked my lesson, but I found out they needed a lot more concentrated help and it took more time than I had planned. Sometimes Dr. Mac (the younger) would teach us in Math in the Middle and discover that we're not at the level she needed us to be for her lesson and would completely divert from her beautiful lesson plan and TEACH US. It was good modeling and I've experienced that as a "teacher" now.

I have started to get along really well with a group of Hispanic boys in my class. One of them came to the States on January 30th of this year. He's from the Dominican Republic and his English is very, very poor. He is oftened helped by a bright-eyed, mischievous, smiley little Mexican boy named Jaime. Two other boys, Bryan and Jaisson, are also full of mischief and fun. I try to get them to teach me more Spanish, but they are somehow still convinced that I really do speak Spanish and I'm just pretending I don't. I think the boy from the DR knows I don't speak Spanish, though. He was leaving today and I said "Adios!" He looked at me and said "Como se dice 'adios' en Filipino?" Haha. I said "Paalam" and he stumbled over the word, but kept trying it.

The science teacher at school is not the most pleasant person on the planet. Actually, he scares me. If I were in his class as a student, I would be crying. He is very saracastic and very mean. At one point he yelled sarcastically at the boy from the DR (I can't remember his name....), "How do you say 'detention' in Spanish?!" The boy just said "Detencion!" The teacher got mad. He had lots of other mean and sarcastic comments that he hurled at the kids for 30 minutes. It was torture. Poor kids. It's no wonder they hate science.

A busy weekend...

On Saturday morning, we all piled into vans and headed over to Norris Square. Norris Square is a little Hispanic community in North Philly. Apparently it used to be one of the most prosperous little neighborhoods until after World War 2. It started falling apart after that and people began leaving. In the past 15-20 years, though, Norris Square has been undergoing changes as people are trying to revitalize the community. A lot of efforts are put into it, and you can see that fact when you enter there. It's a nice little part and in the middle is a square park. There were 250 of us that went because the other half worked in Germantown in another community. While some cleaned up the park, painted things, or weeded butterfly gardens, I went with a group to clean up a Presbyterian church. The church has been around since the Civil War. It's really cool looking inside. After we finished dusting, moving things, de-molding things, and picking up general clutter, some of the guys found an old safe encased in cement. The turn knob was broken off of it. The pastor gave us permission to break through the safe. They hammered away for a good half our, getting rid of the cement, and prying apart the metal. We ended up finding stuff like the original deed to Norris Square from 1823, an almanac from 1874, and lots of church-related papers from the early 1900's. It was pretty cool. We had to go to lunch before we could really look at some of the stuff.

After lunch, all the participating universities had been asked to bring games for a children's festival. We just set up our games and the kids showed up. It was a really nice day for it too. We didn't have all that many kids come to our group so the PBU students ended up having our own little private water balloon fight. It was a great time in the sunshine. :)

We left at 3 but came back at 6 for a dinner hosted by some Puerto Ricans in the community. The food was fantastic. They also had a "Bomba" group (some type of Puerto Rican dance) perform. It was... interesting.

Anyway, the whole day was a lot of fun. I appreciated seeing the community and all the kids. I like how Hispanic culture passes it on from generation to generation. I think culture is important and I wish Filipinos in the States worked harder to pass on Filipino culture, rather than try to be as American as possible.

Today, obviously, is Sunday. We left at 9 to get to The Greater Exodus Church. We ate breakfast there at a charter school that is connected to the church. The school is really cool! I liked it a lot. It's very nice and seems to really be thriving and making a difference in the community.

The church service, to say the least, was interesting. It was very loud. My ears are still ringing. It was definitely the epitome of a "Black church." If this is how an African American church is like, I wonder what an African church is like. Anyway, yeah... we'll leave it at that.

Day 4 in the schools

I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else but not for me!...
Then I saw [their] face[s]! Now I'm a believer!
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind.
I'm in love, I'm a believer.
I couldn't leave [them] if I tried.

"Miss Becky, do you have to go? I want you to stay forever."
"Do you gotta go? Why, Miss Becky, why?"
"When you graduate you gonna come back and teach here?"
"Miss Becky, you like it here?"

It's hard to think that in one week, I'll say goodbye to their beautiful faces. How can I leave them when so many other people in their lives have left them? It's so sad to think about it. These kids are so loving and trusting, despite the odds. I have such beautiful kids in my class. They're full of questions, always curious, always smiling, always willing to do anything for a smile and a word of appreciation directed at them. They're starving for love and once given it, they give it back freely. This is the urban setting. It comes with challenges, but it comes with love. I fell in love the first day. I fall in love more and more every day. Look at me. Who am I? Why do I deserve the life I was given? Why do I deserve the eternal life I was given? How can I not love much, give much, be moved much.

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere,

Why have I never cared?

Chorus:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
Yeah
Yeah

Today was pretty good. I taught the kids volume again and I think it went a lot better. They were able to identify the length, width, and height. They just don't work well in groups. I didn't have enough cubic centimeter cubes for them to fill their boxes with, which got to be a problem because none of them could work together to fill one box per table. Other than that, they did pretty well. I also taught language arts. We were doing outlining. They're not very good at pulling out the relevant information and summarizing it and putting it into an outline. I thought we had gotten it but when I gave them their worksheet to do, they were all lost. We ended up doing the worksheet together and by the end, I think at least half of them understood what to do. I feel like they still need a lot more practice though.

I went downstairs to lunch with the girls (they have a girls' lunchroom and a boys' lunchroom). They enjoyed it and we talked a lot about our ethnicities. There were 2 girls at my table who are particularly beautiful. The one girl has such beautiful eyes and teeth and a very lovely dark complexion. Turns out she has Jamaican, African American, and American Indian in her. Another girl is a lot fairer but also has unique features and she has American Indian in her as well. I had a Puerto Rican girl, a Mexican, and another African American girl at my table. They were busy asking questions about me, what am I studying in school, where did I grow up, did I live in a grass hut, etc.

My co-op had a meeting so the kids went outside and played for an hour and 20 minutes. I played jump rope with some of them. We didn't have a professional development session which was fine with me! I like them, but it makes the days really long. We had one small group meeting and then had the rest of the evening free.

Let your heart be broken for a world in need

Feed the mouths that hunger,

soothe the wounds that bleed.

Give the cup of water, and the loaf of bread.

Be the hands of Jesus, serving in his stead.

Here on earth applying principles of love.

Visible expression, God still rules above.

Living illustration of the living word,

to the minds of all who've never seen or heard.

Blest to be a blessing, privileged to care,

challenged be the need, apparent everywhere.

Where mankind is wanting, fill the vacant place.

Be the means through which

The Lord reveals His grace.

Add to your believing deeds that prove it true,

knowing Christ as Savior, Make Him Master too.

Follow in His footsteps, go where he has trod;

In the worlds great trouble risk yourself for God.

Let your heart be tender and your vision clear;

See mankind as God sees, serve Him far and near.

Let your heart be broken by a brothers pain;

Share your rich resources, give and give again.

Oh, last night Jessi and I and some of the guys went to look for Rita's. Patrick took a wrong turn and we ended up on an unlit street and we were approaching a large gang of teenagers. That was interesting. I think it was a handy cultural experience. :) Then some dude tried to run us over in the crosswalk later on. Welcome to Philly!

Day 3 in the schools

Math. Math was an epic fail. Ok, not quite that epic. It wasn't as bad as it could be, but my math confidence is incredibly low. I changed my lesson a lot from the original, mostly because I didn't have enough materials and I didn't have as much time because one of the aids wanted to do some sort of play with the kids. I did volume. They got it to an extent, but weren't able to come up with length times width times height on their own. I gave them some handouts that I think they understood better after I went from table to table and tutored in smaller groups. A couple of them went "OH! I get it! So this one is 8cm!" That was cool, but I felt like it was ineffective as a whole class.

My co-op had a doctor's appointment so I was with another 4th grade class. During the assembly, I saw one kid who looked exactly like Bryan and sounded like Bryan and I was wondering why Bryan was in our line. I looked over at my 4th grade class and there was Bryan. Turns out his identical twin is in the other 4th grade. Haha.

The day was a little thrown off because my co-op came in late. I taught my lesson after they got back from science. They kept pretty busy doing other stuff all day. I read The Bridge to Teribithea because I was bored. It depressed me.

After getting out of school, we went straight to Edison High School for our professional development session. The speaker is a disciplinarian from some really difficult school in Philly. He was pretty cool. He was talking about how important it is to step around the obstacles and reach the hearts of the kids. In my experience at my school, I haven't had any kids defy me or swear at me, but I've heard plenty of other stories from students at much rougher schools. I don't know what I'd do if some kid just openly defied me. The man who spoke is a Christian and I think some of the positive impact he has and the respect he has gained is because the students know he genuinely cares and loves them. I hope I not only have the courage to face a defiant student, but also the courage to love even when it's difficult. Some things these kids go through I cannot possibly begin to understand, but I still have the responsibility to intentionally build relationships and make connections with the kids. Academics and test scores aren't always the most important things to teach at school. Some kids just need to be loved.